I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
