We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
