The maid of honor just puked.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
