people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
