I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
