Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize