We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
