11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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