I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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