You're my little dorito
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
