so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
