Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
