I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
