I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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