What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
