My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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