under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
