At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
