and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i think my cat just said my name.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
