First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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