Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
