You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
