I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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