you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize