At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
