Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
