After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
