Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That was an excessively violent trivia night
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
A+ Viking dick
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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