STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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