you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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