I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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