my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
