When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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