I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
