I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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