but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize