I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
