Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize