Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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