They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
