My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
