Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
