im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
