I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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