Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
