Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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