i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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