Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
