His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the day after is always just damage control
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
