Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
