Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
