Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
