glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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