How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
