You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
