that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
