About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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