Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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