Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
