im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
