hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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