The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Enjoy the penises
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
