god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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