Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
