I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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