hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
