I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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