In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
