wrigley field is MILF paradise
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
