with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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