dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
