I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
