Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
