i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
