dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have fence marks all over my body
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need to calm my uterus...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
