Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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