my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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