Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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