Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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