She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
