Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
