That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize
