everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
